The Night Before Christmas
(Buffy the Vampire Slayer Version)


'Twas the night before Christmas at Sunnydale High,
The vampires were stirring and hoped for a bite,
Buffy had hung all her stakes up with care,
For a night at the Bronze and was fixing her hair.

Giles was still studying in his librarian's room,
Studying ancient writings, scrolls, books and tomes,
Cordelia and Xander were up to some frolic,
They made out in secret in the janitor's closet.

For Willow 'twas Chanukah, she was making some spells,
But could only make green flames and sickening smells,
Angel was restless, his stomach was growling,
So in the moonlight that vampire was prowling.

The zombies were restless, their bodies decaying,
With some hapless human the demons were playing,
Spike and Drusilla were plotting their plans,
And Oz played guitar at the Bronze with his band.

Down in the Hellmouth, a master vampire,
Was stalking and snarling, all lit by hell-fire,
He wanted revenge on the Sunnydale Slayer,
To maim her and rend her and make her afraid.

Among Gile's bookshelves there arose a strange clatter,
Giles woke with a start to see what was the matter,
And out of the gloom a strange figure arose,
Was it a demon, a vampire or a ghost?

It was ancient and wizened and dressed in red robes,
Smutted with ashes and shrouded in smoke.
"Good evening dear Giles, I'm the Otherworld Santa,
I've come to stop all your slayings and antics,

The vampires and demons are in quite a fix,
So I've come from the Hellmouth to end all your tricks,
I'll wrap you in gift-wrap, a present for Dru,
A gift for the vampires - it's their Christmas too!"

Then Buffy came crashing right in through the doors,
She'd been to the Bronze and now she was bored,
She wanted excitement, she wanted some thrills,
But most of all, she wanted some kills!

"Aah this must be Buffy," said Santa, "How sweet,
Trussed up like a turkey, she'll make quite a feast,
It'll give all my demons an emotional lift,
To see her done up like a nice Christmas gift."

"Hang in there Giles!" our Slayer exclaimed,
"I'm going to spoil this bad Santa's games!"
With a flip and a somersault and deadly grim smiles,
She rushed in to rescue her Watcher friend, Giles.

She plucked a short stake out from her hair,
Saying "I always like to carry a spare,"
The demon just snarled, "You won't feel so fine,
When the vampires are drinking your blood just like wine!"

Buffy attacked, she was quick as a snake,
Into that demon she plunged her short stake,
Then reached for a sword to sever its head,
"That's quite enough Buffy, I'm certain it's dead!"

But from the desk came a deep "Ho-ho-ho,"
And there stood a fat guy in white-trimmed red robes,
With pristine white beard and laughing blue eyes,
"It's still Christmas night - don't look so surprised!"

He looked like a peddler with his big burlap sack,
And all sorts of goodies came out of that pack -
A crossbow for Buffy, some old books for Giles,
("It's 'The Vampyrion' " he gasped with a smile.)

Some spell-things for Willow, for Xander 'some cool',
For Cordy more credit cards, for Angel - a Soul,
"That's just about it," he said, "So take care;
"To all - Slayer's Greetings, and to vampires - beware!"


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